Good Birds Visit: Rosneft Base in Tuapse burns

February 28, 2023February 25, 2026

Today marks the last day of winter, and tomorrow spring arrives. The first sign of spring? Migratory birds — and as it turns out, we have some. As became known, our little birds flew to several locations across the Rotten Federation today. In some places, nobody talked about it because no public was nearby and nobody recorded visual or sound effects. In other places — the opposite. The Rosneft base in Tuapse burns because learned overnight what Angry Birds mean. Local residents who saw and heard the birds’ arrivals learned together with base. It looked approximately like this:

The sound recorded during the bird’s approach definitely wasn’t propeller-driven but jet-powered. This means some cruise missile came to visit — one that easily covers a distance of almost 500 kilometers. To the nearest possible launch point — the distance is 400+ km. But you need to understand they don’t launch them from the front line, not even quite close to it. Plus, they hardly flew in a straight line. Therefore, half a thousand kilometers reads easily and naturally here. Nevertheless, the birds reached their destination and worked the location so well that now Tuapse residents know that watching Ukraine get shelled on TV isn’t the most fun activity — at least because something might fly back in response.

When Your Own Medicine Tastes Bitter

Here we recall their joyful reports from a year ago about how “we’re striking oil depots now so all transport in Ukraine stops.” Well, we’d really like those same commentators, with those same joyful voices, to explain now what this is and why. They already have extensive experience commenting on exactly these kinds of events, so — the floor is theirs. But most likely, we won’t see exactly that. Instead, we’ll read something like this:

“On the night of February 27-28, a fire broke out at the Rosneft oil depot in the Krasnodar city of Tuapse. The fire started due to a drone attack… Explosions occurred around two in the morning, then the fire spread to 200 square meters. They managed to extinguish it in about 20 minutes. EMERCOM forces and equipment got involved — 32 people and 11 units of equipment. Windows shattered in houses located near the plant.”

Well then, they shattered, so they shattered. We note that approaching the target, the birds flew past pootin’s palace in Gelendzhik — and very little remains to reach Sochi and congratulate pootin on spring’s arrival. The fact that the Rosneft base in Tuapse burns means good birds now reach that deep without issue. By the way, even before Gelendzhik, the birds flew past Novorossiysk, where the enemy hid the scraps of its Black Sea Fleet. Flying past, they looked unkindly toward the military base and oil terminal in that city — as if hinting that reaching here would be a piece of cake.

Multiple Routes, Multiple Messages

But this wasn’t the only route exactly on this night. At minimum, birds flew in several directions. It doesn’t matter that today we didn’t have more light shows, something else matters. We’re starting mass UAV launches — and that’s joyful. Now let them think for themselves where they still have a rear and where they already don’t. But we already sent greetings, and now the Rabid Federation’s population will know that these very missile strikes on Ukraine can turn into something quite unexpected for them personally.