Russian Reaction to Maduro Capture: Politicians and Social Media

January 4, 2026January 10, 2026

The Russian reaction to Maduro capture is pure panic. As soon as news about Maduro’s capture went into news feeds, loud explosions sounded in the Swamps¹. Satellites recorded numerous, albeit small, ignition points. These were Orc² asses burning. Moreover, their information space now represents a continuous boiling of shit. The Kremlin declared not once or twice that Venezuela is a reliable ally and that all necessary assistance will be provided in case of confrontation.

It’s hard to say what happened with fulfilling the promise. Perhaps the necessary assistance simply wasn’t available because it’s burning out somewhere in Crimea. Or perhaps the situation there hasn’t escalated enough yet to provide the promised assistance. However, maybe the matter is completely different. Maybe right now the world named after pootin is collapsing, which he created with the persistence of a drunk begging for an uppercut. And this world was built around oil and gas exports.

The Pattern: Syria, Iran, Venezuela

But many remember that if you replace the word “Venezuela” in these statements with the word “Syria,” they turn out practically identical. Everyone remembers perfectly how pootin provided assistance to Assad. They also remember how it all ended. Approximately the same story happened with another faithful ally of moscow — Iran. During Israel’s air attack on Iran, the pootinites declared they feel “serious concern.” But of course, they condemn both Israel’s actions and US interference. They consider this an unacceptable act of aggression that cannot be used in international relations.

The detention of Venezuelan dictator Nicolás Maduro in the Swamps is called “aggression against an independent state” and “violation of sovereignty.” Considering regular bombardments of Ukraine, we’ll leave aside the cynicism of such statements from Orcs. Let’s simply note that the average population of the Swamps is now in complete confusion. The brave grandpa who menacingly rode a pony shirtless with a rifle in his hands turned out not to be such a macho after all. After all, time after time when similar things happen, he decisively shits his pants. This has already become simply a standard reaction of the bald Führer to such events.

Russian Reaction to Maduro Capture: Burning Asses Everywhere

Asses in the Swamps burn across various strata of society. Where alcohol led to irreversible consequences in the cerebral cortex, they reason in this vein: allegedly, why did the Americans accomplish everything in 4 hours, while we’ve been trampling in one place for 4 years already. It doesn’t even occur to them that the States didn’t plan and don’t plan now to occupy Venezuela and destroy its population. The Orcs execute a different plan. It transformed from “Kyiv in three days” into capturing Kupyansk in four years. But this is already a clinic, and you can’t do anything there.

Much funnier look the reflections about where the Führer disappeared and where are the concrete actions? After all, they’re used to making statements in the style of “we won’t allow,” “we’ll give a harsh response”… and where is all this? Overall, the public wanted to see the Führer’s might. In the end, they write that elites are in complete confusion because they didn’t expect such a course of events. And a source in the Kremlin who asked not to name his surname said this:

In those frames I saw, you can’t even see attempts to shoot down American helicopters. In February 2022, during the offensive on Kyiv, our aviation couldn’t feel so calm. And this despite the fact that within the framework of cooperation, we transferred enough weapons to Maduro. Where is it?

The Question That Answers Itself

This question voices an indirect answer to the clueless Orcs who still haven’t understood what the difference is between the Venezuelan situation and what happened to them in Ukraine. Their landing force flew on helicopters, but most of them dove into the Kyiv Reservoir and scattered wreckage across plantings. They even sent Il-76 aircraft to land paratroopers in Bila Tserkva and Vasylkiv. But when they noticed that the boards started disappearing from radars — they turned around and flew back. And wheels from aircraft were found for a long time among mushroom glades.
The Swamps’ ambassador to the UN Vasily Nebenzya called Maduro’s arrest “robbery”:

The robbery regarding Maduro became a harbinger of a return to the era of lawlessness and forceful US domination.

The Ministry of Foreign Affairs of the Swamps already expressed deep concern about Venezuelan events. But somehow kept silent about the fact that a few weeks ago, when asked how the Swamps would react to escalation of the situation around Venezuela, pootin answered that he would provide any assistance needed.

The terrorist Telegram channel “Militia Reports of novorossiya” expressed fears that they could capture pootin the same way.

Russian neo-Nazi Milchakov trolled his own military leadership. He suggested the Kremlin hire American generals and planners to capture Zelensky.

The Most Entertaining Circus

The most interesting circus in our opinion was published by Pidar³ Akim Apachev:

He writes that “Russian paratroopers didn’t meet anyone who could match them in skill.” We deliberately saved the screenshot. Because telling such things about those paratroopers who became food for stray dogs in Vasylkiv and Hostomel — this is work for professional psychiatrists. By the way, it was precisely about Russian paratroopers near Kyiv that the meme was born: “Russian paratrooper is a Kyiv-style cutlet.”

Well, for now we’ll pause on this topic and simply estimate that taking pootin to The Hague is quite possible. After all, just yesterday no one assumed that such a thing could happen with Maduro. Now he’s already in New York. The Russian reaction to Maduro capture demonstrates once again that the emperor has no clothes, and his promises of protection are worth exactly nothing.

¹Swamps – an ironic name for Russia, emphasizing decay, stagnation, and filth. The Commander of the USF, Robert Browdie, and most soldiers use this word.

²Orcs – a common term for Russians who support or participate in the armed aggression against Ukraine. Dehumanizing? Yes. Accurate? Also yes.

³Pidar (pronounced “pidar”) – Ukrainian military slang for a Russian service member. In radio communications, the word “Pidar” sounds shorter and clearer than “Enemy” especially under EW.