Russian Reaction to Tanker Seizure: Officials Cry Piracy

January 7, 2026January 10, 2026

The Russian reaction to tanker seizure is pure theater. Right now another act of the drama “emperor’s collapse” is unfolding, and this is in the middle of the ocean, in front of the whole world. Recently media wrote about how a Pootin shadow fleet tanker fled from the coast of Venezuela. Along the way, it changed its flag and name, but the States didn’t leave it in peace. The tanker didn’t obey the request to stop and accept a boarding party for inspection and now it has problems. Its pursuit got delegated to other forces not involved in operations near the coast of former Maduroland. Instead, the US Navy and Coast Guard sent another group of ships to intercept the vessel.

The Swamps’¹ Ministry of Foreign Affairs immediately declared that they sent a submarine and some surface ships to escort the tanker. In the end, the Americans arrived at the rendezvous point. So did the aforementioned submarine, which acquired a surface state. Apparently, it tried to scare off the persistent Americans with such a frightening appearance? They photographed the submarine, of course and these photos have already appeared in the media. But then the fugitive tanker showed up, and here the operation to capture it began. It’s already known that a US military fleet and Coast Guard assault group boarded.

The Submarine That Did Nothing

The trick is that the submarine surfaced and demonstrated absolutely nothing. More precisely, it demonstrated a principle known since ancient times: “Shit doesn’t sink,” and nothing more. In other words, the Americans didn’t pay any attention to it at all. They worked out the capture of the offending vessel.

Everyone observes this not only in the USA but throughout the world. After all this, they can watch video recordings where Pootin imposingly handed out threats. He scared everyone with his coolness and the strength of his weapons. In reality, it turned out that his aplomb is sufficient exclusively in the case when we’re talking about a small country like Georgia, Moldova, or Chechnya. When a fight looms with someone who has pumped-up muscles, the old dictator folds in one moment. The menacing submarine becomes just a failed decoration for the seizure scene. The world already knows that Ukraine sinks both submarines and Orc² military ships without hesitation. It seems our example inspired the Americans. Now the fairy tale about stern Pootin and his mighty fleet just moved into the category of stories for preschool children.

Russian Reaction to Tanker Seizure: Panic Mode

Overall, you can’t say that there’s absolutely no reaction in the Swamps to current events. It exists, of course, but it’s muted. Without epithets and metaphors that clearly spin in the Orcs’ heads. Restrained but clearly confused comments come out. Here’s what anonymous sources told the Telegram channel “Office Snuffbox”:

First, we actually lost Syria, then Venezuela. Now unclear things are happening in Iran. And then the question arises — do we have enough resources to give an answer? After all, we lost 4 years and enormous resources in Ukraine. And what have we actually achieved?

The Ministry of Transport of the Swamps suddenly remembered international law and UN conventions:

On January 7, around 3:00 PM Moscow time, the US Naval Forces landed a landing party on the oil tanker Marinera on the high seas, beyond the territorial waters of any state. According to the 1982 UN Convention on the Law of the Sea, freedom of navigation operates on the high seas, and no state has the right to use force against vessels registered in another country’s jurisdiction.

Russian senator Andrei Klishas called the tanker seizure “open piracy”:

After the ‘law enforcement operation’ to kill several dozen people on the territory of Venezuela, the USA engaged in outright piracy on the high seas. All according to the notorious ‘rules,’ contrary to international law norms.

Russian deputy Alexei Zhuravlyov stated that the tanker seizure allegedly can be considered an “illegal invasion of Russia’s borders” (quote):

Such an attack can also be qualified as an illegal crossing of our border, in other words — a full-fledged military invasion of Russia. We should engage in battle with the boats of the American Coast Guard, which not only went too far from both Americas but also completely confused the shores.

Gloomy horse Sergei Lavrov looked a bit more restrained. He called to “immediately return” the citizens of the Swamps who were on board the tanker:

The United States must not prevent the quick return of Russian citizens from the vessel Marinera to their homeland.

Propagandists in Confusion

So-called “war correspondents” (Russian propagandists who periodically visit combat zones) look very confused. Unlike Russian officials who never saw real combat, Russian military propagandists have repeatedly seen destroyed Russian equipment and liquidated Pidars³ with their own eyes. Therefore, their confusion is quite understandable. Here are a few screenshots that convey the general state of the Russian segment of the Internet:

The arrest of the sanctioned tanker and the Russian reaction to tanker seizure once again confirmed what Ukrainians have known well since 2022: the Russian army is very powerful. On paper, in propaganda videos, and at military parades. In combat operations, the Russian army is incapable of confronting even an equal opponent. All the more so, it’s incapable of confronting an opponent that surpasses in quantity or technology.

¹Swamps – an ironic name for Russia, emphasizing decay, stagnation, and filth. The Commander of the USF, Robert Browdie, and most soldiers use this word.

²Orcs – a common term for Russians who support or participate in the armed aggression against Ukraine. Dehumanizing? Yes. Accurate? Also yes.

³Pidar (pronounced “pidar”) – Ukrainian military slang for a Russian service member. In radio communications, the word “Pidar” sounds shorter and clearer than “Enemy” especially under EW.